


Cullens Regret

by Hanavia



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, Ferelden (Dragon Age), Grey Wardens, Templars (Dragon Age)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26508052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hanavia/pseuds/Hanavia
Relationships: Cullen Rutherford/Female Warden, Cullen Rutherford/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 5





	Cullens Regret

Regret. That's the only thing he can do since she left.

He blamed himself earlier for not acting and for having undermined his manhood under a heap of duties. Now he is left without his duties, without her. He is alone and feels terrible.

She was the one who gave him stability, who built him up and made him laugh, in this circle full of hate and fear and darkness. She had been the first to ever take an interest in him and not in how disciplined he was or how strongly he believed in the Maker. She understood whenever he had doubts and she supported him. Respected his decisions, treated him like an individual.

And now she was gone.

No, she wasn't just gone. She's dead.

Her lifeless, beautiful, elf-like body laid there in front of him, prepared in an open coffin.

The heroine of Ferelden, a magician - Neria Surana - an elf and yet she was beloved. And this time not only by him. Also by a hundred other, strangers in the hall.

He couldn't take his eyes off her, looking at her oval, pale face with the reddish freckles she hated so much. The pointed ears, which have been traditionally painted. The long brunette hair, tied in a plait at the back of her head, falling down her neck. Her eyes that would never open again. Oh, those beautiful brown eyes he loved so much when they looked at him curiously. Memories.

Grief took hold of him, cut his throat. He suppressed the gasp for air, because she was not supposed to see him like that when she looked down at him from the Maker's side. The tears nevertheless came.

He closed his eyes and suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. He noticed the matching face, which looked at him encouragingly as soon as he opened his eyes again.

"She doesn't deserve her fate," he says, as they still remain silent after a few seconds.

The man in the golden armor nods thoughtfully. "She gave her life for mine. For all our lives." Admiration and pain resound simultaneously in his voice.

"Thank you for giving her a pleasant time with the wardens. When you brought the mages and lyrium back into the circle, she told me that she always felt comfortable with you despite the circumstances," Cullen said. His gaze drifted away, over the coffin to the ceiling of the small cathedral. Actually, she deserved an elven burial, but she felt more like a human being anyway, so he remained silent about it. She never complained, she never upset anyone. Always wanted to solve everything heartily and with much effort. Spurned the easy way.

"I will miss the time," says his companion, and a brief smile steals onto the king's face.

"I wish I had spent time with her, too, that I could miss," slid out the man in Templar armour, but he didn't apologize, didn't talk his way out of it. He suffered too, obviously for that and he is besides he was the only Templar from the circle.

"You certainly have," Alistair says confidently and then puts his hand compassionately on his shoulder. "You are Templar Cullen, I thought as much. That is why I am here. She has spoken well of you." He looks over at the pale elf. "Neria has... ...shall we say, spoken of you most favorably. My advances", he interrupted briefly and cleared his throat, "she has refused decisively. She said that someone at home was waiting for her in the circle and that this time she wouldn't want to be kept from rules and duties." Their eyes met and Cullen's eyes widened.

"She said what?" he asks with a dry throat. A painful sting spreads in his chest. If he had only known...!

"Yes, but don't you tell her about me. She would be very angry with me. She usually kept secrets, but since she didn't want to hurt my feelings, she shared them with me." The king in his golden armour straightened up. "If I'm unlucky, and that's usually the case, she hears our conversation here anyway. If the blight carries me away, she will get her hands on me in a few years' time."

  
Cullen simply couldn't stifle a certain smirk. He was well aware that Neria is very resentful. Was. She was resentful when she was alive. Again his gaze fell on the girl who was in everyone's attention. He wondered if she would have wanted that.


End file.
